Luck Be A Lady

Well, I've thought about writing many times and just couldn't find the inspiration. I hate it when that happens. I've been happy writing short little spurts of wisdom on FB or Twitter but if it was more than 150 characters I just didn't have the energy. Oh well.... I know it's just a phase! It's been a busy summer. I just wrapped up working at Camp CSTOCK teaching music/drama to kids. It was a BLAST and I loved every moment of it. My niece flew up from Cali and spent 10 days with us. We had fun being tourists and showing her around. We took trips to the ocean, to Mt. Rainier and to DT Seattle (mostly shops and the market) in three days! I was exhausted to say the least. Summer here has been spectacular and I've loved the sunshine so much. My garden has been doing well and most of the sick plants I had from last winter thrived. I lost my bay laurel plus my kale for some crazy reason so I will need to replace them but all the rest of the veggies and herb

I am kind of down. It's been tough enough this past year just getting an interview for a job, let alone a second/final one only to be rejected as number 2. I am going to be fine I know but I just want to be the one that is in control and be able to say yes or no. I know that God is steering me in the right direction but it's tough facing another rejection. I keep looking for the silver lining and while I know that there IS a job out there for me I am really, really bummed. What the heck will it take to get a good job again? I feel like I am a fairly talented and resourceful person but it's obvious that I am not finding the right work or employer. It's frustrating to say the least. I should be grateful for everything I have right here and right now. I am feeling sorry for myself and I don't like it when I do that. I just want to crawl into bed and hide but I have to get back to finding a job.  Time to be a grown up..... Sigh......

Today is one of those days I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. I'm trying to stay upbeat and strong. But honestly, I'm so worried about my job situation I can barely contain my emotions. I'm smiling on the outside and breaking down on the inside. As I typed that last sentence, the sun just starting to really shine outside my office window. I can hear birds twittering and singing. I can also hear my little dogs snoring in the midst of their naps.  It does put a smile on my face despite my troubled feelings. I got down on my knees and prayed hard this morning. I cried and sobbed too. And then my cat came over.... and it stopped me from going to far into the depths of despair.  There is always a silver lining somewhere, right? So I guess I should be grateful even if it seems like I'm at the end of my rope, it seems to be a pretty strong one and my arms don't seem to be giving out just yet.  Time to go do some house cleaning and then some yard work. Go

Well, after my absolutely pathetic whiny blog last week, I got a phone call for an interview. GO FIGURE. ;-) God has a good sense of humor. He got me good after that rant. So I had a good interview BUT I'm one of 8 candidates. I was the first to interview so I don't know how that will work out for me. My friends are all 'you've got this!' and 'they'd be stupid not to hire you!' and all kinds of positive affirmations which I truly appreciate but the job decision lies in the hands of the manager. I know the odds are NOT in my favor. I don't know what will happen but I PRAY that this job comes through. It's right up my alley and hits all my strengths. Of course, there may be someone younger, faster, stronger, more enthusiastic, etc., so who knows. I am running on faith. Seriously....it's all I've got left. We're coming down to the wire financially. I have to have a job soon. We won't be able to keep up with bills if I don't

You know...... I hate it when people whine. I absolutely hate it. Even when kids do it it just about makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I don't know why it is but that's a huge pet peeve of mine. BUT..... that is ALL I want to do today. I am feeling SORRY for ME. I am so sick and tired of not being able to get a full-time job. I have applied for literally hundreds of jobs and the number of calls or interviews I've gotten from them can be counted on ONE HAND.  I am beginning to feel desperate. I don't know what else I can do. I have prayed and prayed and prayed. I have redone my cover letters, redone my resumes, talked to everyone I know and then some and I still can't seem to find the right job. Hell, I can't even find the wrong job or the temporary job. Now I know I'm not applying at restaurants or fast food places.....yet. I am not applying at places that require me to lift 50 lbs because I just can't do that. I am trying to avoid some lines

We are a weird sort....we humans. We celebrate birthdays, holidays (religious and Hallmark), graduations, retirements, weddings, anniversaries. The obvious thing is that it's beginnings and endings. We celebrate the beginning of life. We celebrate the end of school, the end of a career.  We certainly don't 'celebrate' death..... well, actually I guess a wake could be considered a celebration of one's passing. Some people do choose to celebrate the end of a marriage too. ;-) Yet we remember those very important dates when something or someone ends. The date we lose someone really important or an institution like marriage. Actually.... the true date of my divorce of my first marriage (which I know was in October) escapes me because it was a long time ago. Not that it wasn't traumatic or unimportant because it was. It's just I've moved on (as has my ex) so that date doesn't hold a grip over me. The death of a loved one (related or not) is always t

We're approaching a 'Hallmark' holiday and it still kills me. The sting is a little less biting but it still hurts. Mother's Day and Father's Day just about do me in. It took a long time for the regular holidays to stop being so painful but these two days seem to slice my heart up and serve it on a platter every time. My dad's been gone for almost 11 years. He died the Friday after Mother's Day so I have a funny memory of him on that last Mother's day. That's a great gift. But despite the smiles I display when I think about that day, I still get tears in my eyes because I remember I had 5 more days after that and then he was gone. Each day, he got progressively worse and the last 2 days of his life he was basically in a coma. Those 2 days were painful and filled with lots of tears as I talked to him but he didn't have the energy to speak or even open his eyes or to squeeze my hand back. I said my goodbyes and said how much I loved him and told

I got my SF #2 yesterday! I took pictures but I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do. I got exactly what I asked for but I'm still not 100% convinced by what was in my box. I will definitely keep something but I won't be keeping the capris or the skinny pants for sure.  I guess that my body just doesn't like the particular brand that my wonderful stylist sent me. They fit but they don't feel right. I know you know what I mean!!! Anyway, I'll post everything tomorrow..... I am still trying to decide if I'm getting my money's worth on the pieces that are left since I won't be getting a discount. So..... I have a sleeveless top, a terry cloth blazer and a really cute necklace left to think about!

Finally getting around to blogging about my first experience with Stitch Fix!  This is such a great service - having your own stylist shop for you based on a survey you fill out! What fun! It was better than Christmas when I was opening up that box! It was a super sunny day too.... I figured that was a good omen. :-) I had an inkling of what was in the box since I had gone to the website and saw the actual inventory listing of what was sent!  Maybe I should be careful the next time they send me my order....I think I want to be more surprised next time! So opening it I saw my return envelope (pre-paid - awesome) and my little envelope from my stylist! Seriously beyond excited. So, here's my wonderful note from Richardo.... and yes, it's obvious he read my blog and my pinterest and anything I had because he mentioned my weight loss! VERY COOL POINTS for Richardo. Here's the enclosed cards showing how to use the pieces they sent me. I t

So I posted something about Stitch Fix 2 weeks ago. I put an order in for my first 'fix' about a month or so ago. I had to wait 6 weeks....6 agonizing long weeks!  Imagine my surprise when I got a little message from FedEx that it's on it's way! I can hardly stand it..... I love shopping and having a stylist do the work for you.... for such a minimal fee? YES, PLEASE. So I just went to the website just to get some link info for this post and the list of items being sent to me is already posted with the prices and the check list to say if I'm keeping it or not, did I like it or not, how did it fit, etc., etc. I can hardly wait until tomorrow! Yeah....I'm a clothing addict. Especially now since I'm  in need of all new clothes. Spring & Summer will be here before I know it and I have nothing except what I've bought during the winter so I need stuff!  I'll be taking pics and posting info about my experience. I am just tickled at the idea of so

About 10 years ago, I did a show called "My Way" which featured the music of Frank Sinatra. One of my all time favorite shows ever.... we did a song called "My Lean Baby" which I always thought was odd. I was dancing to it and thinking "um...I'm not lean." I think I'm hyper-aware of weight and body issues for many reasons so it made me uncomfortable. Anyway, the lyrics are: My lean baby - tall and thin Five feet seven - of bones and skin But when she tells me maybe she loves me I feel as mellow as a fellow can be She's so skinny - she's so drawn When she stands sideways - you (would) think (that) she's gone But when she calls me: "baby" - I feel fine To think she's frantically, romantically mine She's slender, but she's tender She makes my heart surrender And every night, when I hold her tight The feeling is nice - my arms can go around twice My lean baby - she's so slim A broomstick's wid

Even though technically I'm not at my 'after' just yet it's nice to be able to really see the difference between where I was and where I am now. Having had my formal pics done I can see it BUT when I see candid photos that are similar side-by-side, it's even more pronounced to me.  I posted this pic earlier today on Facebook but wanted to put this here for anyone who can't see it. That's my friend Dorothy who is a huge supporter of live theatre and the arts here in Kitsap County. Her darling husband Alex took both these pics. The top one was after "Master Class" at the Jewel Box" and the bottom photo is from last night's performance of "Willy Wonka" at CSTOCK. I've lost my double chin!!!! Still battling the last 5 lbs.... well, it's technically less than 5 but I have a goal to lose even more body fat via exercise after I switch phases so I'll just call it 5 lbs for now!

Today is Mark's and my 4th wedding anniversary!  I couldn't wait to give him his present so he got to open it on Sunday. I got him pictures. Yes...this person who has hated getting her pictures taken for so long (product of having really bad candid pics for so many years - interesting how I hated my body and so it really showed in my pictures in recent years) finally went to a professional photographer and got her pics done. I figured it was time. I'm really proud of how I look now and Mark comments about it constantly so it worked out. I got my hair cut and colored one day last month and scheduled a make up session with my best friend at Gene Juarez and then did the pics in the same neighborhood as the restaurant where Mark proposed to me.  Yup, this is me sitting in front of La Fermata in the Manette neighborhood. They weren't open yet so we took pictures in front of the place. It was actually kind of fun. The pic below one shows the sign of the restaurant in

I am such an internet shopper. Amazon loves me. Macy's loves me. There are many shops online that love me. Since I've lost so much weight and 4 to 5 dress sizes I've been kind of a clothes horse. I've taken to buying from online boutiques on Facebook which has been fun. The only thing is that a lot of the clothes really do look the same and it's tougher to do returns with them. Some of the stores are amazing but I've had a couple that just turned me off. It's okay though, it's a learning experience. So the latest thing I discovered was a company called Stitch Fix . A friend of mine just tried it out and got some really cute clothes. Pretty darn awesome, right??? A stylist picks out clothes and accessories for you based on a profile you fill out. You pay $20 up front.  You get 3 days to try them on and think about it. You send back what you don't like and pay for the ones you do and that $20 fee you paid applies to your purchase. Free return

So....this is brief (unusual for me) but I just had to put it out there so I can let it go. :-) I do a lot of work in theatre so I deal with actors a lot. Most of them are great people. Some are real (pardon my language) dicks. I do like most everyone though. One thing that I do have to point out today is the actor that doesn't get that they're TOO OLD for a part. Why do directors put an age range on a character description? SO THAT YOU CAN FIGURE OUT IF YOU ARE THE RIGHT AGE TO PLAY THE ROLE. Anyway...... someone I love dearly just doesn't get that he and his partner are way too old for a show. I don't want to break their hearts but I'm going to have to be candid with them. Yikes..... when an actor can't move like they're supposed to, it's a sign to either lose weight & get in shape or get surgery on your knee/hip OR realize that you are TOO OLD FOR THE PART. Kind of sad...right? Okay. Done with my mini-rant.

So Wonka opened last Friday to huge compliments and applause!  Three performances of near sell outs! That was a wonderful feeling to see my show take off like that. The thing is.... it's got miles to go before they really get 'in the groove' so imagine how good it's going to get?! Cast of Willy Wonka at CSTOCK Community Theatre, Silverdale, WA Good looking group, aren't they? The costumes are unreal and the set looks amazing! I can't wait to upload some more pics so I can brag! Seriously, I have got the best team on my staff. There may have been some minor issues but I really gather the best possible people to make it happen. It's not really about me.... it's about them. I'm all about being a team player in the long run! So now the show has 3 more weeks and I hope it continues to sell out so the theatre can make oodles of money and keep growing and improving. We'll see what happens..... Now it's time to move on to researching

God, I would love to throw some people under the bus but I can't destroy professional relationships. I'm getting so tired of certain parts of my theatre life and I know a couple of friends that feel the same way. Something has changed in my little community. There's still wonderful and kind people out there that would do anything to help me create a wonderful show and to them I am so grateful. But there are others who act so entitled and have no right to be that way. Where are they learning this behavior? It disgusts me. It's one thing to have kids being somewhat troublesome. They're kids and they have to make mistakes to learn. Some of them need to be scared shitless. I'm good at that and I plan to have a Come To Jesus meeting with a few of them tonight. I am going to throw real, serious threats at them. I want them to understand how much a person's reputation affects whether or not they get into a show. I have the power to get them cast as well as to b

So I did something I haven't done in years. I can't even say what it is yet. It's a surprise and I don't want to ruin it. But I did something quite brave for me. And it was a surprise, even to me because I was so scared of it. And yet I did it. Even more surprising is that I ended up having fun. I have dreaded this 'thing'..... almost cancelled out on it several times but I threw back my shoulders and just decided to go for it. I don't do scary things well typically. I am a wuss when it comes to going into Haunted Houses. I have some issues with fear. I know I CAN be brave and have been. I've conquered some metaphoric mountains in my past.  But this was something I couldn't fathom for years. I'll be able to reveal more shortly..... but I must say I'm pretty proud of myself. When I do reveal, some will say how silly I was to be scared. But there will be some who will totally understand my fear and shame and know exactly what I went thr

I truly loved this. What a great way to start the weekend! Andy Rooney's thoughts on women over forty, Do you agree with him?: As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reas ons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think. If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting. A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing. Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can ge

Someone I knew died last week. Ironically, he died the same day another man I had the fortunate chance to meet did. Except..... he was 28 and the other man was 89. We all have our time on this earth and then we're called back to our higher power. I'm not here to push religion but I have a firm faith that there is a God and He does have a timetable for us. I always find it shocking though, when someone so young as Matthew dies. He died from complications of the flu and pneumonia. THE FLU.  Yee Gads.... this is scary stuff people. The flu can kill you. It's not something to be messed with. I was never a proponent for flu shots although when I was a kid and under Navy medical care my dad insisted I get them. He was always overprotective, especially after I caught pneumonia as a 12 year old. That was scary stuff. Even though that was almost 40 years ago, I still remember the painful cough and the disgusting drainage from the infection. My lungs were filled with the grossest

I'm blogging the same post on both my blogs today. It's focused on diet so I figured 'why not?'  I have become a huge proponent of the low carb/high fat lifestyle. Granted, while I'm on IP I can't do that much fat but a healthy 'low' amount is approved so that weight loss won't stall. Since IP is about being in ketosis (burning the fat reserve already in the body) they don't want us adding too much more. I'm not talking about doing Atkins after IP since that allows for too much fat, almost to the point of being grossed out by it. This is more about the newer 'Wheat Belly' or basic ketogenic diet. Almost all gluten/sugar is cut out from your diet in IP but will be slowly reintroduced after reaching your weight loss goal. Part of the reason I want to switch over to Wheat Belly after IP is that it continues to encourage little to no gluten and sugar, actually less than IP maintenance. I know it works because I've started eliminatin

I don't rant a lot about sports. I have very eloquent friends that do such a great job that I just agree (or disagree) with their statuses, posts on social media. Makes it easier. I've been a Seattle Seahawks fan since the beginning. I was around and old enough to be a football fan when we got the franchise. My dad watched games all the time and took me to see the Hawks all the time when I was growing up. I kind of miss the old Kingdome! But not really...it was ugly and Qwest Field is so much nicer! I normally can't watch entire games because I SCREAM in frustration. I am very affected by the environment and it's well known that the 12th Man is incredibly LOUD and VOCAL. They are one of the reasons why Seattle is such a great team. If I had been at that game, I would have lost my voice and probably not had it back for days. The tv can be just as bad because I am so physical and I yell at the poor screen!  So I only kept tabs on my phone for the first half and then s

Keeps raining all the time...... Seriously! What a lousy day..... the only good thing about today is that the Seahawks are playing! My show is rehearsing and opens in 5 weeks. I can't believe this. Just finished blocking. Now I have to get things built, painted and running. It will all work out, I know. I go through this panic around this time in the rehearsal process. I swear to myself I'll never direct again and then I get to the theatre, start working with my actors and love the whole process all over again. I'm so melodramatic! I've got a great team of people working with me so I know it will be good. I don't ever doubt them. It's all about me when I'm doubting. Go figure.... I get down on my knees and pray a lot during this part. It usually works. :-) Weight loss wise, I lost 4 lbs after a lousy couple of weeks of up and down weight. The fat is really starting to come off now and I can tell! My stomach is still really jiggly but it's so much

Well..... 2013 certainly was a year. It was filled with highs AND lows. Mark losing his job on Jan. 31st was a killer. He couldn't find anything and we are so grateful that Sellen asked him to come back on contract in late June. Thank goodness they had faith to bring him back because they offered him a full time position two weeks ago beginning TODAY!  We're back on full benefits and no longer have to pay Cobra payments for our insurance. Woo-hoo!  He also gets full credit on vacation and PTO's so he gets a full 10 years of work history as if he never left! Yay! So 2013 had some good things after all!!!!  I started on this amazing diet plan and as of today, January 1, 2014 I am 48 lbs lighter than I was August 5th. I have 10-12 lbs left OR depending on my body fat percentage, it could be less (or more). I won't have a weigh in for 11 days so I won't know that statistic until then. In the meantime, I'm trying to stay on protocol and keep losing weight and/or