Posts

Time is on my side....yes it is???

How does 3 years go by without a blog posting? I don't know the answer to that. I am shocked that I haven't been writing here for that long. But I guess with a full time job that kind of enveloped me and made me focus on things other than myself kind of took this away from me for awhile.

I've missed writing a lot. I didn't realize how much until a had a blog post pop up in my Facebook memories. I sat and read several of my posts from 2012 and I sobbed... I was in a lot of pain. We lost 2 dogs in a week (both were seniors) and then one of our cats about a month later. Mark and I were reeling from that loss in more ways than I think either of us realized. We had been through a lot over the past couple of years since we married in 2010. We lost my mom, I lost a job I thought I was meant to do for the rest of my life, and I was in a constant state of depression for about 2.5 years or so. I still can't believe how much gray hair came in during that time! And now of cour…

Dog Days of Summer

Well, I've thought about writing many times and just couldn't find the inspiration. I hate it when that happens. I've been happy writing short little spurts of wisdom on FB or Twitter but if it was more than 150 characters I just didn't have the energy.

Oh well.... I know it's just a phase!

It's been a busy summer. I just wrapped up working at Camp CSTOCK teaching music/drama to kids. It was a BLAST and I loved every moment of it. My niece flew up from Cali and spent 10 days with us. We had fun being tourists and showing her around. We took trips to the ocean, to Mt. Rainier and to DT Seattle (mostly shops and the market) in three days! I was exhausted to say the least.

Summer here has been spectacular and I've loved the sunshine so much. My garden has been doing well and most of the sick plants I had from last winter thrived. I lost my bay laurel plus my kale for some crazy reason so I will need to replace them but all the rest of the veggies and herbs hav…

And then there are days....

I am kind of down. It's been tough enough this past year just getting an interview for a job, let alone a second/final one only to be rejected as number 2. I am going to be fine I know but I just want to be the one that is in control and be able to say yes or no.
I know that God is steering me in the right direction but it's tough facing another rejection. I keep looking for the silver lining and while I know that there IS a job out there for me I am really, really bummed.
What the heck will it take to get a good job again? I feel like I am a fairly talented and resourceful person but it's obvious that I am not finding the right work or employer. It's frustrating to say the least.
I should be grateful for everything I have right here and right now. I am feeling sorry for myself and I don't like it when I do that. I just want to crawl into bed and hide but I have to get back to finding a job. 
Time to be a grown up..... Sigh......

Threads

Today is one of those days I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.

I'm trying to stay upbeat and strong. But honestly, I'm so worried about my job situation I can barely contain my emotions. I'm smiling on the outside and breaking down on the inside.

As I typed that last sentence, the sun just starting to really shine outside my office window. I can hear birds twittering and singing. I can also hear my little dogs snoring in the midst of their naps.  It does put a smile on my face despite my troubled feelings.

I got down on my knees and prayed hard this morning. I cried and sobbed too. And then my cat came over.... and it stopped me from going to far into the depths of despair.  There is always a silver lining somewhere, right?

So I guess I should be grateful even if it seems like I'm at the end of my rope, it seems to be a pretty strong one and my arms don't seem to be giving out just yet. 

Time to go do some house cleaning and then some yard work. Got to fe…

Think Positive

Well, after my absolutely pathetic whiny blog last week, I got a phone call for an interview. GO FIGURE. ;-)

God has a good sense of humor. He got me good after that rant.

So I had a good interview BUT I'm one of 8 candidates. I was the first to interview so I don't know how that will work out for me. My friends are all 'you've got this!' and 'they'd be stupid not to hire you!' and all kinds of positive affirmations which I truly appreciate but the job decision lies in the hands of the manager. I know the odds are NOT in my favor. I don't know what will happen but I PRAY that this job comes through. It's right up my alley and hits all my strengths. Of course, there may be someone younger, faster, stronger, more enthusiastic, etc., so who knows.

I am running on faith. Seriously....it's all I've got left. We're coming down to the wire financially. I have to have a job soon. We won't be able to keep up with bills if I don't so I…

Pity - Party of One?

You know...... I hate it when people whine. I absolutely hate it. Even when kids do it it just about makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I don't know why it is but that's a huge pet peeve of mine.

BUT..... that is ALL I want to do today. I am feeling SORRY for ME. I am so sick and tired of not being able to get a full-time job. I have applied for literally hundreds of jobs and the number of calls or interviews I've gotten from them can be counted on ONE HAND. 

I am beginning to feel desperate. I don't know what else I can do. I have prayed and prayed and prayed. I have redone my cover letters, redone my resumes, talked to everyone I know and then some and I still can't seem to find the right job. Hell, I can't even find the wrong job or the temporary job.

Now I know I'm not applying at restaurants or fast food places.....yet. I am not applying at places that require me to lift 50 lbs because I just can't do that. I am trying to avoid some lines of wo…

Happy Anniversary (NOT)

We are a weird sort....we humans.

We celebrate birthdays, holidays (religious and Hallmark), graduations, retirements, weddings, anniversaries. The obvious thing is that it's beginnings and endings. We celebrate the beginning of life. We celebrate the end of school, the end of a career.  We certainly don't 'celebrate' death..... well, actually I guess a wake could be considered a celebration of one's passing. Some people do choose to celebrate the end of a marriage too. ;-)

Yet we remember those very important dates when something or someone ends. The date we lose someone really important or an institution like marriage. Actually.... the true date of my divorce of my first marriage (which I know was in October) escapes me because it was a long time ago. Not that it wasn't traumatic or unimportant because it was. It's just I've moved on (as has my ex) so that date doesn't hold a grip over me.

The death of a loved one (related or not) is always the be…