Memories pressed between the pages of my mind...
I still reel with pain and anguish now and then over the loss of my mom. Strange..... it's been over 2 years but it hits with such a violent force and that's the surprise. I expected the pain, really I did. But I guess I didn't expect the big, gigantic surprise hits. It happens so quickly like one of those rogue waves scientists are constantly trying to track and predict. Sometimes, they paralyze me. I honestly don't know if I can take another breath or smile or feel anything even remotely happy. The thing is.... I know the pain will pass because it always does. But the paralysis can take more than minutes to get over. I don't mean complete physical paralysis either.... I mean the full on emotional kind that makes it impossible to do anything normal. A regular chore seems like a triathalon that you've never had time to prepare for. Just getting dressed or taking a shower can seem like climbing Mt. Everest. Now the loss of my dad? That's a different fee