I'm melting.......melting.....what a world.....
WARNING: there are a few rough swear words in this so if you're offended, don't read.
I know I'm trying to keep my diet blog separate from this one but because this is more commentary as opposed to posting facts and figures about my diet for the week, I think it's okay that I blather on about a few things related to this journey I've started.
So at my last weigh in (yesterday), I ended up losing 5 lbs and 3.5 inches but I went up about 2 percent in my body fat. Well..... that's an interesting thing, isn't it? The one steady thing that had been happening on my diet was that my body fat was ticking in a downward trend these past 4 weeks. Yesterday, it jumped 2 percent overnight. That, my dear friends is the results of hormones. I want to scream sometimes when someone mentions that damned word. It's what makes us who we are of course but why in the hell does it have to screw with our body fat readings on a $5000 scale?
So yeah, I have an amazing and cool coach. She's been through IP as a client plus she's had extensive training so she gets that women's hormones can mess up our weigh-in. The other great thing (NOT) that being on this diet does is it extends 'that time' of the month for many women. TMI here folks - you may want to skip to the next paragraph, I've had this stupid fucking period for just over 2 weeks. And the thing is: it's perfectly normal for this to happen when you change your diet! WHY............oh the irony!
Okay. My rant with the hormone gods is done. I think.
I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I need to hold a funeral for certain foods in my life. Granted, I can eat anything I want but I WILL PAY FOR IT LATER. I don't know if I want that agony anymore. I have not had a single stomach ache or IBS attack since the third day of my diet. That's a record folks! I can tell you that with the exception of when I did acupuncture and took special Chinese herbs from my doctor last summer, this has never happened to me. I'm eating normally and I'm not taking anything special other than vitamins & my blood pressure meds anymore. Mark said I've stopped snoring! The most bizarre and amazing thing I've noticed is that my two semi-arthritic fingers and my tendonitis/Carpel Tunnel affected right arm/hand have stopped showing all symptoms of pain and discomfort.
This lifestyle change requires that I eat very low carbs right now. Eventually, I can take the word 'very' out of that last sentence. But I need to cut out most of my favorite foods out of my life for good. I am diabetic. I have high blood pressure. I have high cholesterol. Well.... I did.
I am supposed to have a physical next Wednesday (well, actually it was supposed to be last Friday but the stupid GH phone app that I used to set up and change my appointment didn't go through and dropped me. ARGH!) to find out IF I need my BP meds anymore and if I need to worry about my blood sugar or cholesterol numbers. I am anxiously awaiting the opportunity to prove that I can get off those meds! I've been struggling with high BP for about 5 years (when my weight kept creeping up) and I set a record BP reading last summer at my physical and had to get on them before I had a stroke. It was BAD NEWS BEARS, let me tell you. The nurse was wondering how I was managing to be standing, let alone be alive. I guess I handle stress well? Yeah.....the last few years have been pretty much in the toilet (except for getting married, of course!) so taking those meds, my BP reading was pretty good and reading normal most of the time.
The diabetes is what's really scared me though. Both my parents had it. And once you have it, you usually have it for life. I was reading diabetic from my last glucose tests. I didn't go on meds though. I was in denial and hoping that going to the acupuncturist, doing herbs and changing my diet into a more organic/sorta paleo version would clean me up. Well..... I did lose a few pounds initially but then it went into reverse because I had no self control. I was still using sugar/refined carbs to numb the pain and I knew something was wrong. I was sitting on the stage at the theatre during work in early July and I was so uncomfortable (pants cutting into my waist, feet kept going numb, hips aching, etc., etc.) that I just had it. I couldn't take the discomfort. I thought back to my dad, who lost a leg to that awful disease and eventually it killed him via his kidneys. It robbed my dad of at least 10 years in my opinion. I still get a little angry sometimes, because I really miss him. I had the worst emotional roller coaster ride of pain when I lost him. I know in the grand scheme of things it really was HIS time to go but it wasn't part of my master plan.
So, this new lifestyle (and it is a lifestyle because the diet part is temporary) is helping. I am noticing that my aches and pains are almost gone. I'm sleeping much better and I feel more focus with each day (I'm kind of a scattered brained crazy woman, folks!). I'm crawling out from under my rock of despair and depression. I am still wondering how the heck I'm going to manage to stay away from potatoes, rice, pasta and bread most of the time. I can't cut them out because I like them. But I do have to avoid eating them OR eat them in a different combination from what I am used to and only eat them occasionally. Lifestyle eating will let me find ways of doing it though and I have to hold myself accountable to eating sensibly and saving the super 'bad' foods for a special occasion, rather than all the time. It's doable. It's just hard for me to imagine managing it forever. I just have to take it a day and a meal at a time.
In the meantime, as I continue on the strictest part of the diet I continue to lose weight at an amazing pace. I'm flabbergasted to step on the scale every morning and see a loss. Ignoring the body fat reading for now, I have lost 17.5 lbs. I'm down a size in clothing and getting close to the next one down. I actually went ahead and ordered two pair of jeans (one a smaller size down, the other 2 sizes down) so I will have something to work toward. I really do feel like the Wicked Witch of the West when she says she's melting. My mind cannot fathom that I've lost this much weight yet. I don't even think I look different although my husband tells me otherwise. I see the numbers on the measuring tape and on the scale - and that is real but it doesn't translate to my brain just yet. Weird how our minds really affect us, isn't it? It's called body dysmorphia - a really stubborn mind-fuck of a condition that causes so much trouble in our society. It can take people a minimum of a year to get through it and in some cases people never get out of it. I never thought I'd be a victim of this condition but I realize I am. I'm working on it though and the fact that I recognize I suffer from it is half the battle.
I'm on sort of a cliff here. The precipice if you will. I think that I want to make some changes. Not just diet related.... kind of life related. I am stubborn and pigheaded and am wondering why this lifestyle isn't fully embraced by everyone. Granted, everybody has a different chemistry, different illnesses and conditions that affect them so we have to have different ways to be healthy. I just don't get why all this decadence gets thrown at us and why so many others take advantage of people who are caught up in the problems caused by them. I can't quite put into words what I want to do just yet but I want to help make a change. If I can do this and lose this fat, then anyone can.
I'll have to leave this train of thought here for now..... I could say more but I'm still formulating a plan as I continue on my own journey of weight loss. I am trying to learn more and be more studious about the science behind all of this. Of course, that'll take a lifetime but I guess that's what this is all about, right?
I know I'm trying to keep my diet blog separate from this one but because this is more commentary as opposed to posting facts and figures about my diet for the week, I think it's okay that I blather on about a few things related to this journey I've started.
So at my last weigh in (yesterday), I ended up losing 5 lbs and 3.5 inches but I went up about 2 percent in my body fat. Well..... that's an interesting thing, isn't it? The one steady thing that had been happening on my diet was that my body fat was ticking in a downward trend these past 4 weeks. Yesterday, it jumped 2 percent overnight. That, my dear friends is the results of hormones. I want to scream sometimes when someone mentions that damned word. It's what makes us who we are of course but why in the hell does it have to screw with our body fat readings on a $5000 scale?
So yeah, I have an amazing and cool coach. She's been through IP as a client plus she's had extensive training so she gets that women's hormones can mess up our weigh-in. The other great thing (NOT) that being on this diet does is it extends 'that time' of the month for many women. TMI here folks - you may want to skip to the next paragraph, I've had this stupid fucking period for just over 2 weeks. And the thing is: it's perfectly normal for this to happen when you change your diet! WHY............oh the irony!
Okay. My rant with the hormone gods is done. I think.
I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I need to hold a funeral for certain foods in my life. Granted, I can eat anything I want but I WILL PAY FOR IT LATER. I don't know if I want that agony anymore. I have not had a single stomach ache or IBS attack since the third day of my diet. That's a record folks! I can tell you that with the exception of when I did acupuncture and took special Chinese herbs from my doctor last summer, this has never happened to me. I'm eating normally and I'm not taking anything special other than vitamins & my blood pressure meds anymore. Mark said I've stopped snoring! The most bizarre and amazing thing I've noticed is that my two semi-arthritic fingers and my tendonitis/Carpel Tunnel affected right arm/hand have stopped showing all symptoms of pain and discomfort.
This lifestyle change requires that I eat very low carbs right now. Eventually, I can take the word 'very' out of that last sentence. But I need to cut out most of my favorite foods out of my life for good. I am diabetic. I have high blood pressure. I have high cholesterol. Well.... I did.
I am supposed to have a physical next Wednesday (well, actually it was supposed to be last Friday but the stupid GH phone app that I used to set up and change my appointment didn't go through and dropped me. ARGH!) to find out IF I need my BP meds anymore and if I need to worry about my blood sugar or cholesterol numbers. I am anxiously awaiting the opportunity to prove that I can get off those meds! I've been struggling with high BP for about 5 years (when my weight kept creeping up) and I set a record BP reading last summer at my physical and had to get on them before I had a stroke. It was BAD NEWS BEARS, let me tell you. The nurse was wondering how I was managing to be standing, let alone be alive. I guess I handle stress well? Yeah.....the last few years have been pretty much in the toilet (except for getting married, of course!) so taking those meds, my BP reading was pretty good and reading normal most of the time.
The diabetes is what's really scared me though. Both my parents had it. And once you have it, you usually have it for life. I was reading diabetic from my last glucose tests. I didn't go on meds though. I was in denial and hoping that going to the acupuncturist, doing herbs and changing my diet into a more organic/sorta paleo version would clean me up. Well..... I did lose a few pounds initially but then it went into reverse because I had no self control. I was still using sugar/refined carbs to numb the pain and I knew something was wrong. I was sitting on the stage at the theatre during work in early July and I was so uncomfortable (pants cutting into my waist, feet kept going numb, hips aching, etc., etc.) that I just had it. I couldn't take the discomfort. I thought back to my dad, who lost a leg to that awful disease and eventually it killed him via his kidneys. It robbed my dad of at least 10 years in my opinion. I still get a little angry sometimes, because I really miss him. I had the worst emotional roller coaster ride of pain when I lost him. I know in the grand scheme of things it really was HIS time to go but it wasn't part of my master plan.
So, this new lifestyle (and it is a lifestyle because the diet part is temporary) is helping. I am noticing that my aches and pains are almost gone. I'm sleeping much better and I feel more focus with each day (I'm kind of a scattered brained crazy woman, folks!). I'm crawling out from under my rock of despair and depression. I am still wondering how the heck I'm going to manage to stay away from potatoes, rice, pasta and bread most of the time. I can't cut them out because I like them. But I do have to avoid eating them OR eat them in a different combination from what I am used to and only eat them occasionally. Lifestyle eating will let me find ways of doing it though and I have to hold myself accountable to eating sensibly and saving the super 'bad' foods for a special occasion, rather than all the time. It's doable. It's just hard for me to imagine managing it forever. I just have to take it a day and a meal at a time.
In the meantime, as I continue on the strictest part of the diet I continue to lose weight at an amazing pace. I'm flabbergasted to step on the scale every morning and see a loss. Ignoring the body fat reading for now, I have lost 17.5 lbs. I'm down a size in clothing and getting close to the next one down. I actually went ahead and ordered two pair of jeans (one a smaller size down, the other 2 sizes down) so I will have something to work toward. I really do feel like the Wicked Witch of the West when she says she's melting. My mind cannot fathom that I've lost this much weight yet. I don't even think I look different although my husband tells me otherwise. I see the numbers on the measuring tape and on the scale - and that is real but it doesn't translate to my brain just yet. Weird how our minds really affect us, isn't it? It's called body dysmorphia - a really stubborn mind-fuck of a condition that causes so much trouble in our society. It can take people a minimum of a year to get through it and in some cases people never get out of it. I never thought I'd be a victim of this condition but I realize I am. I'm working on it though and the fact that I recognize I suffer from it is half the battle.
I'm on sort of a cliff here. The precipice if you will. I think that I want to make some changes. Not just diet related.... kind of life related. I am stubborn and pigheaded and am wondering why this lifestyle isn't fully embraced by everyone. Granted, everybody has a different chemistry, different illnesses and conditions that affect them so we have to have different ways to be healthy. I just don't get why all this decadence gets thrown at us and why so many others take advantage of people who are caught up in the problems caused by them. I can't quite put into words what I want to do just yet but I want to help make a change. If I can do this and lose this fat, then anyone can.
I'll have to leave this train of thought here for now..... I could say more but I'm still formulating a plan as I continue on my own journey of weight loss. I am trying to learn more and be more studious about the science behind all of this. Of course, that'll take a lifetime but I guess that's what this is all about, right?
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