It was the crepuscule
Now that I've discovered my old friend (this blog) I feel like I've come home again. I enjoy writing as much as I enjoy reading but I keep forgetting to write. Things get in the way....
Anyway, I'm in the midst of rehearsing for a musical called 'The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee' and I am playing a role I've wanted since I first heard the Broadway cast recording some years ago.
I have been directing so much these past 11 years that acting began to take a backseat. I was firmly convinced that directing was where my heart was at and that acting, while fun was not the way I wanted to express myself creatively. The teacher in me always wants to help others be better, the perfectionist in me wants to put on a show the 'right' way (which is also known as 'my way', LOL).
I was one of those theatre people who used to go from show to show, year after year and loved it. Even if I was in a serious relationship, this was such a part of me that my partner had to accept that I would 'die' without it. After hitting 40 I realized that getting roles in musicals would get tougher not only because I was getting older, but because there's such a healthy crop of young women just dying to step into my well worn leading lady shoes. And ultimately, I'm not meant to be the romantic leading lady (although I've been lucky enough to snag a few of those roles). I'm meant to be the funny one, the mean one, the evil one, the crazy one. The beauty of getting older is that those roles become more available, possibly require less stage time but are just as fulfilling.
So after 2001 or so, I directed more and acted less. It was by choice as I wanted a new challenge and I enjoyed watching something start from scratch and become this huge glittery, spectacular production. I liked working with the design team, the staff, the actors, the musicians. I liked being the big picture gal, the dictator, the 'buck stops here' leader. I have thoroughly enjoyed bringing gigantic behemoths like 'Oklahoma' and 'The King & I' to the stage as well as the smaller but no less gigantic 'Little Shop of Horrors' and 'Nunsense'. I've done 4-6 person cast shows like 'Ruthless' and 'The Musical of Musicals' and huge take-no-prisoner shows like 'Seven Brides for 7 Brothers' and 'How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.' Each show was like a child and I have no favorite. Actually, I tend to love the outrageous, lesser known or quirky ones best so 'The Mystery of Edwin Drood' does stand out as well as 'Ruthless'.
I've managed to act in a few productions over the past 9 years but they've been fewer and farther apart. I had to really want it and I've been fortunate that they've appeared on the horizon or they approached me and convinced me that I was the right actor for the role. Not to say that the role was given to me, but that the show convinced me that I wanted to be a part of it. I have to admit that playing Helga/Helsa/Dieter in 'The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940' was a joy I never expected. I did not think this was the role for me! I could not have asked for a funnier role than when I practically made out with a gun (purely an improv moment that stayed in the show once I heard people practically rolling out of their seats when it happened). The role of Rose Lennox in 'The Secret Garden' and Aldonza in 'Man of LaMancha' were two roles I pursued and coveted for many years and I am grateful that I got to play both ladies. Playing Marmie in 'Little Women' was another highlight as well as being in 'Working' playing a call girl and a cleaning lady was a huge stretch! And finally, playing Eve (and Mama Noah) in 'Children of Eden' was probably the most fulfilling - there's something about talking to God and crying that was so incredibly cathartic for me. I felt like I was finally able to accept my own father's death and tell God that it was okay and that I didn't hold it against him. Sounds kind of immature hearing a 40-something woman say that, right? Well, I really did hold it against him for a couple of years. But I guess God is a big picture kind of director... He knew I'd come around eventually and forgive Him. :-)
Another huge hurdle I conquered was directing a non-musical play. I've been wanting to try for years but believe it or not, was a little afraid of it. How could I do a show and not have music to fall back on to express emotion? Well, the opportunity presented itself and I thoroughly enjoyed directing 'Cactus Flower' this past spring. Loved the script, love the cast, the designs, everything was a joy. I cannot wait to direct another non-musical, as a matter of fact it is probably the one thing I covet!
So... back to 'Spelling Bee' and the title of this post. It's actually a snippet from one of my lines, actually probably the most important line my character says in the show. The 'Bee' is such a joy, and the actor in me is starting to stretch and dig into who this character really is. It is so close to me, yet not so it's actually been tough for me to get inside her head. I'm playing a woman who is in her later 30's or early 40's and she's smart and kind and wants to continue helping kids and her community. It's not a huge stretch to figure that stuff out but it's tough to get where she comes from and why she's so attached to this particular institution. She is so enmeshed in this spelling bee and what it stands for that she has put many other things on hold, I think. She hasn't let go of the reins and maybe it's time to do so? Who knows.... I'm working through it though and I know by the time we open this month I'll have most of her figured out. That's the exciting part of being an actor.
Ah..... the crepuscule..... indeed, it was the crepuscule.
Anyway, I'm in the midst of rehearsing for a musical called 'The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee' and I am playing a role I've wanted since I first heard the Broadway cast recording some years ago.
I have been directing so much these past 11 years that acting began to take a backseat. I was firmly convinced that directing was where my heart was at and that acting, while fun was not the way I wanted to express myself creatively. The teacher in me always wants to help others be better, the perfectionist in me wants to put on a show the 'right' way (which is also known as 'my way', LOL).
I was one of those theatre people who used to go from show to show, year after year and loved it. Even if I was in a serious relationship, this was such a part of me that my partner had to accept that I would 'die' without it. After hitting 40 I realized that getting roles in musicals would get tougher not only because I was getting older, but because there's such a healthy crop of young women just dying to step into my well worn leading lady shoes. And ultimately, I'm not meant to be the romantic leading lady (although I've been lucky enough to snag a few of those roles). I'm meant to be the funny one, the mean one, the evil one, the crazy one. The beauty of getting older is that those roles become more available, possibly require less stage time but are just as fulfilling.
So after 2001 or so, I directed more and acted less. It was by choice as I wanted a new challenge and I enjoyed watching something start from scratch and become this huge glittery, spectacular production. I liked working with the design team, the staff, the actors, the musicians. I liked being the big picture gal, the dictator, the 'buck stops here' leader. I have thoroughly enjoyed bringing gigantic behemoths like 'Oklahoma' and 'The King & I' to the stage as well as the smaller but no less gigantic 'Little Shop of Horrors' and 'Nunsense'. I've done 4-6 person cast shows like 'Ruthless' and 'The Musical of Musicals' and huge take-no-prisoner shows like 'Seven Brides for 7 Brothers' and 'How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.' Each show was like a child and I have no favorite. Actually, I tend to love the outrageous, lesser known or quirky ones best so 'The Mystery of Edwin Drood' does stand out as well as 'Ruthless'.
I've managed to act in a few productions over the past 9 years but they've been fewer and farther apart. I had to really want it and I've been fortunate that they've appeared on the horizon or they approached me and convinced me that I was the right actor for the role. Not to say that the role was given to me, but that the show convinced me that I wanted to be a part of it. I have to admit that playing Helga/Helsa/Dieter in 'The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940' was a joy I never expected. I did not think this was the role for me! I could not have asked for a funnier role than when I practically made out with a gun (purely an improv moment that stayed in the show once I heard people practically rolling out of their seats when it happened). The role of Rose Lennox in 'The Secret Garden' and Aldonza in 'Man of LaMancha' were two roles I pursued and coveted for many years and I am grateful that I got to play both ladies. Playing Marmie in 'Little Women' was another highlight as well as being in 'Working' playing a call girl and a cleaning lady was a huge stretch! And finally, playing Eve (and Mama Noah) in 'Children of Eden' was probably the most fulfilling - there's something about talking to God and crying that was so incredibly cathartic for me. I felt like I was finally able to accept my own father's death and tell God that it was okay and that I didn't hold it against him. Sounds kind of immature hearing a 40-something woman say that, right? Well, I really did hold it against him for a couple of years. But I guess God is a big picture kind of director... He knew I'd come around eventually and forgive Him. :-)
Another huge hurdle I conquered was directing a non-musical play. I've been wanting to try for years but believe it or not, was a little afraid of it. How could I do a show and not have music to fall back on to express emotion? Well, the opportunity presented itself and I thoroughly enjoyed directing 'Cactus Flower' this past spring. Loved the script, love the cast, the designs, everything was a joy. I cannot wait to direct another non-musical, as a matter of fact it is probably the one thing I covet!
So... back to 'Spelling Bee' and the title of this post. It's actually a snippet from one of my lines, actually probably the most important line my character says in the show. The 'Bee' is such a joy, and the actor in me is starting to stretch and dig into who this character really is. It is so close to me, yet not so it's actually been tough for me to get inside her head. I'm playing a woman who is in her later 30's or early 40's and she's smart and kind and wants to continue helping kids and her community. It's not a huge stretch to figure that stuff out but it's tough to get where she comes from and why she's so attached to this particular institution. She is so enmeshed in this spelling bee and what it stands for that she has put many other things on hold, I think. She hasn't let go of the reins and maybe it's time to do so? Who knows.... I'm working through it though and I know by the time we open this month I'll have most of her figured out. That's the exciting part of being an actor.
Ah..... the crepuscule..... indeed, it was the crepuscule.
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