bam pow sock em
Gads....
I looked back at the date of my last blog and it's been 14 months. My, my.... time flies. Life has indeed changed enormously in 14 months.
I quit my old job. I got engaged on the last day of employment with Mills. I started a new job in the arts.
I continued to have a long term house guest during this time. Mark bought me a beautiful ring which I still love for its careful design/beauty/thoughtfulness.
I struggled with things at work and couldn't put my finger on what or why since it was what I wanted for so long. The holidays came and went.... it was such a joy to buy gifts, wrap them cleverly, make the holiday turkeys, etc. I directed a wonderful Sinatra holiday show in the midst of it. While I pretty much just had to tell people where to stand and help with design while my set designer, music director and choreographer did the hard stuff I still felt enormous pride for the outcome. It was beautiful.
I spent the beginning of 2010 struggling to find music directors to no avail. I ended up music directing 4 shows between last year and now on top of directing or supervising 3 other shows. I am really proud of them all. The shows were terrific but I was exhausted.
Oh, Mark and I eloped in the middle of The Music Man. We flew to Vegas and spent 5 wonderful days on our own. It was a joy despite the fact that I got really sick. The best day of my life was February 24, 2010.
We adopted a wonderful Maltese dog from Taiwan in May (Mother's Day - I caught the significance) and we continue to try to support Ocean Dog Rescue and their efforts. Yes, I still love our local Humane Society and the ASPCA but I love ODR and their people and philosophy. I will continue to do whatever it takes to get rescued dogs adopted to loving families. We are a 3 rescue dog family and love them all to bits.
I continued working throughout the spring but despite my love for everything I did, I was still miserable. I realized I did not like my job under the current circumstances. For all that was said and done, nothing ever really changed and I have to admit I was relieved to be let go.
Summertime was spent in my thoughts. I continued to teach but wanted to wrap my head around my failure and figure things out. I still struggle with it. I can lay blame on lots of things and people including myself but it's not doing me much good if I don't learn from it. I'm learning.... some of the things I'm learning are not happy but it's real.
I have been sick so much this year and that fact hasn't been lost on me either. While this has been the happiest time in my life since my father passed (7 years....that blows me away), it has been been one of the hardest times too. I know that illness comes as you age, when your physical resistance is low but it comes with alarming frequency if your emotional resistance is low. I realized how unhappy I was... the residual colds/flus have still crept on me but I have been able to bounce back quickly and be happy now that I'm finally moving on to better times.
I have seen and experienced an enormous amount of negativity this year. I didn't realize how unhappy it was making me. There are some miserable and unhappy people around and I finally came to the conclusion it's time to do the things I want to do but in a better environment. I have a life to lead and much more to do before I leave this earth. I will continue to make the happy choice and live life as my God wants me to. I will pray for those souls who are so unhappy and want to create more unhappiness but I choose to step away from them and save myself so I can be the happiest me I can.
I came to realize something else: Some people say they are doing things because they care but truly what they care about is being self important. They create problems so that they can be a hero when they swoop in and 'save' the day. What they don't realize is that it all looks like a Batman tv show with 'bam', 'pow', 'blast' and 'ugh' written in cartoon balloons over their heads. They may think they look good but those of us with our reality glasses on can see through the BS. It's all smoke and mirrors folks. Yes, there's some good that always comes out of circumstances and I don't want to belittle those things but I know that there are some whose motivation is all about self-service as opposed to community service.
Enough said.... I feel much better now. I now surround myself with positive energy and have done as Johnny Mercer said, 'eliminate the negative'. Technically, I'm still unemployed but I am still teaching private voice and piano part time and attempting to make it my life's work. I love doing it and want to help get people to sing and be proud of their voices or at least be able to make a joyful noise. It makes me happy. :-)
I looked back at the date of my last blog and it's been 14 months. My, my.... time flies. Life has indeed changed enormously in 14 months.
I quit my old job. I got engaged on the last day of employment with Mills. I started a new job in the arts.
I continued to have a long term house guest during this time. Mark bought me a beautiful ring which I still love for its careful design/beauty/thoughtfulness.
I struggled with things at work and couldn't put my finger on what or why since it was what I wanted for so long. The holidays came and went.... it was such a joy to buy gifts, wrap them cleverly, make the holiday turkeys, etc. I directed a wonderful Sinatra holiday show in the midst of it. While I pretty much just had to tell people where to stand and help with design while my set designer, music director and choreographer did the hard stuff I still felt enormous pride for the outcome. It was beautiful.
I spent the beginning of 2010 struggling to find music directors to no avail. I ended up music directing 4 shows between last year and now on top of directing or supervising 3 other shows. I am really proud of them all. The shows were terrific but I was exhausted.
Oh, Mark and I eloped in the middle of The Music Man. We flew to Vegas and spent 5 wonderful days on our own. It was a joy despite the fact that I got really sick. The best day of my life was February 24, 2010.
We adopted a wonderful Maltese dog from Taiwan in May (Mother's Day - I caught the significance) and we continue to try to support Ocean Dog Rescue and their efforts. Yes, I still love our local Humane Society and the ASPCA but I love ODR and their people and philosophy. I will continue to do whatever it takes to get rescued dogs adopted to loving families. We are a 3 rescue dog family and love them all to bits.
I continued working throughout the spring but despite my love for everything I did, I was still miserable. I realized I did not like my job under the current circumstances. For all that was said and done, nothing ever really changed and I have to admit I was relieved to be let go.
Summertime was spent in my thoughts. I continued to teach but wanted to wrap my head around my failure and figure things out. I still struggle with it. I can lay blame on lots of things and people including myself but it's not doing me much good if I don't learn from it. I'm learning.... some of the things I'm learning are not happy but it's real.
I have been sick so much this year and that fact hasn't been lost on me either. While this has been the happiest time in my life since my father passed (7 years....that blows me away), it has been been one of the hardest times too. I know that illness comes as you age, when your physical resistance is low but it comes with alarming frequency if your emotional resistance is low. I realized how unhappy I was... the residual colds/flus have still crept on me but I have been able to bounce back quickly and be happy now that I'm finally moving on to better times.
I have seen and experienced an enormous amount of negativity this year. I didn't realize how unhappy it was making me. There are some miserable and unhappy people around and I finally came to the conclusion it's time to do the things I want to do but in a better environment. I have a life to lead and much more to do before I leave this earth. I will continue to make the happy choice and live life as my God wants me to. I will pray for those souls who are so unhappy and want to create more unhappiness but I choose to step away from them and save myself so I can be the happiest me I can.
I came to realize something else: Some people say they are doing things because they care but truly what they care about is being self important. They create problems so that they can be a hero when they swoop in and 'save' the day. What they don't realize is that it all looks like a Batman tv show with 'bam', 'pow', 'blast' and 'ugh' written in cartoon balloons over their heads. They may think they look good but those of us with our reality glasses on can see through the BS. It's all smoke and mirrors folks. Yes, there's some good that always comes out of circumstances and I don't want to belittle those things but I know that there are some whose motivation is all about self-service as opposed to community service.
Enough said.... I feel much better now. I now surround myself with positive energy and have done as Johnny Mercer said, 'eliminate the negative'. Technically, I'm still unemployed but I am still teaching private voice and piano part time and attempting to make it my life's work. I love doing it and want to help get people to sing and be proud of their voices or at least be able to make a joyful noise. It makes me happy. :-)
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