Psychokiller
I'm an avid fan of true crime dramas and cop shows on TruTV channel and Discovery and HLN too. I could spend hours watching and reading this stuff. I should have gone into forensics or done profiling for the FBI. I love this!
I am super sensitive to people and their behavior and I'm affected by certain behaviors too. I had an experience when I was around 11 or 12 when I met a neighbor of one of my school friends. I was there because my friend's mom and my mom were best friends. We were next door babysitting an adorable toddler girl. I was roaming around the living room and the family had lots of bookcases loaded with books. Being the avid reader that I was (and still am) I was checking out every spine and one book in particular caught my eye. Oddly enough, it was an 'eye' on the cover that I saw. It drew me to it....it was a very strange and odd feeling. It was a book on the occult and it just seemed so out of place. Granted I was young and to see any book that discussed devil worship, voodoo, and an assorted array of dark topics was super creepy.
My attention was drawn to a voice behind me and the father of the little girl we were babysitting came in to say hi. I hadn't met him before and I was shocked when I saw him. I can't even say or mention his name because this whole story still disturbs me. He was skinny, balding, had slumped shoulders and when my friend introduced us he shook my hand..... his handshake was limp and soft and I had the worst shiver down my spine upon the first touch. He was very soft spoken but his eyes were anything but soft. They were piercing, even cold. Thinking about all this right now takes me back to a place I don't want to be.
The handshake lasted a millisecond longer than it should have. I was trying to tug my hand away and he didn't let go immediately. I wanted to leave right then and there but I couldn't. Our babysitting gig was contingent upon the two of us girls being there. Ugh.... I stuck it out in part because the mom was such a lovely, wonderful and vibrant lady and I really liked her plus I gave my word that I would do this job and I knew my mom would have been upset if I hadn't kept up my promise.
The parents left not too long after that awful handshake. My friend and I got our little charge to bed fairly fast and we were watching TV and snacking on food. I still kept thinking about that creepy book in the living room and that shiver I felt. I went back to that book and it was almost like an obsession. I read much of it and it was all I could do to put the thing back on the shelf. Thank goodness the parents were home within a few hours and I went back to my friend's house where my mom and my friend's mom were playing cards and having a great time. The vibe of the house was so warm and wonderful and I was able to shake off the feelings I had.
I never told anyone about my feelings. I couldn't really verbalize why I was so scared. I actually had put blame on that creepy book - there couldn't be anything wrong with the friends of my mom's friends, right? Well.... flash forward about 5 years later. The lovely neighbor lady had filed for divorce from that man and was trying to get on with her life. I have no idea what had been happening over those past 5 years but all I know is that she was probably trying to be nice and it got her killed. He had asked to meet her to discuss something and she went against her better judgement and said yes. This horrible man brutally raped and beat her before he shot her and then turned the gun on himself. Thank God their daughter was not there when it happened.
When I heard the news - I knew he was truly capable of this evil. I saw it. I felt it. Everyone else around me thought I was crazy for thinking this but I knew. I could even see more of what had happened between them even though I hadn't been there. I don't know how or why but I sincerely believe that I had some kind of connection to that lady.
That was the day I realized I should always trust my gut feelings.
I am super sensitive to people and their behavior and I'm affected by certain behaviors too. I had an experience when I was around 11 or 12 when I met a neighbor of one of my school friends. I was there because my friend's mom and my mom were best friends. We were next door babysitting an adorable toddler girl. I was roaming around the living room and the family had lots of bookcases loaded with books. Being the avid reader that I was (and still am) I was checking out every spine and one book in particular caught my eye. Oddly enough, it was an 'eye' on the cover that I saw. It drew me to it....it was a very strange and odd feeling. It was a book on the occult and it just seemed so out of place. Granted I was young and to see any book that discussed devil worship, voodoo, and an assorted array of dark topics was super creepy.
My attention was drawn to a voice behind me and the father of the little girl we were babysitting came in to say hi. I hadn't met him before and I was shocked when I saw him. I can't even say or mention his name because this whole story still disturbs me. He was skinny, balding, had slumped shoulders and when my friend introduced us he shook my hand..... his handshake was limp and soft and I had the worst shiver down my spine upon the first touch. He was very soft spoken but his eyes were anything but soft. They were piercing, even cold. Thinking about all this right now takes me back to a place I don't want to be.
The handshake lasted a millisecond longer than it should have. I was trying to tug my hand away and he didn't let go immediately. I wanted to leave right then and there but I couldn't. Our babysitting gig was contingent upon the two of us girls being there. Ugh.... I stuck it out in part because the mom was such a lovely, wonderful and vibrant lady and I really liked her plus I gave my word that I would do this job and I knew my mom would have been upset if I hadn't kept up my promise.
The parents left not too long after that awful handshake. My friend and I got our little charge to bed fairly fast and we were watching TV and snacking on food. I still kept thinking about that creepy book in the living room and that shiver I felt. I went back to that book and it was almost like an obsession. I read much of it and it was all I could do to put the thing back on the shelf. Thank goodness the parents were home within a few hours and I went back to my friend's house where my mom and my friend's mom were playing cards and having a great time. The vibe of the house was so warm and wonderful and I was able to shake off the feelings I had.
I never told anyone about my feelings. I couldn't really verbalize why I was so scared. I actually had put blame on that creepy book - there couldn't be anything wrong with the friends of my mom's friends, right? Well.... flash forward about 5 years later. The lovely neighbor lady had filed for divorce from that man and was trying to get on with her life. I have no idea what had been happening over those past 5 years but all I know is that she was probably trying to be nice and it got her killed. He had asked to meet her to discuss something and she went against her better judgement and said yes. This horrible man brutally raped and beat her before he shot her and then turned the gun on himself. Thank God their daughter was not there when it happened.
When I heard the news - I knew he was truly capable of this evil. I saw it. I felt it. Everyone else around me thought I was crazy for thinking this but I knew. I could even see more of what had happened between them even though I hadn't been there. I don't know how or why but I sincerely believe that I had some kind of connection to that lady.
That was the day I realized I should always trust my gut feelings.
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