Chestnuts
I've managed to get through some of the big 'firsts' without my mom so far: Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday (also on Christmas). I should say 'we' managed as Mark is grieving too and sometimes I have to admit I get a bit self-absorbed in my grief and I forget that Mark is hurting in his own way. He not only has to deal with his loss but watching me go through my depression and despair. I don't admire his position one bit. I'm not the easiest person to deal with when I'm in an unhappy situation.
New Year's hit me a bit differently though. I had forgotten how tied into my culture New Years was/is. My mom (being 100% Japanese) did all the traditional foods for New Years including mochi, chestnuts and some other Japanese treats. I know, chestnuts aren't necessarily Japanese but the people there love them and we always had them during the New Year's holiday as opposed to Christmas in my family.
So I'm walking through Central Market (our favorite grocery, not just because it's the best place in the county, but because of its outstanding Asian foods) and I see a big pile of chestnuts and then a sale on mochi. The memories that flooded back to me really made me miss her even more than during my birthday.
It's interesting how foods/culture really affect us.... I am so tied to it and trying to remember all the wonderful things my mom made over the years is really important to me. I'm lucky that she showed me a lot of things as I was growing up but there's still some gaps here and there. It really makes me feel good to make something that my mom showed me how to make but it'll really make me feel better once I figure out all the cool, unusual Japanese dishes she made me.
Tonight, it's going to be ramen and then chestnuts for dessert. Ramen (not the cheap stuff) is easy to make, yes but it is the doctoring that makes it good. My mom was amazing at making it taste awesome. Chestnuts aren't a mystery but it's definitely a foodstuff that I associate to New Years and being in Japan.
Helps me feel closer to her....even though I miss her so deeply right now.
New Year's hit me a bit differently though. I had forgotten how tied into my culture New Years was/is. My mom (being 100% Japanese) did all the traditional foods for New Years including mochi, chestnuts and some other Japanese treats. I know, chestnuts aren't necessarily Japanese but the people there love them and we always had them during the New Year's holiday as opposed to Christmas in my family.
So I'm walking through Central Market (our favorite grocery, not just because it's the best place in the county, but because of its outstanding Asian foods) and I see a big pile of chestnuts and then a sale on mochi. The memories that flooded back to me really made me miss her even more than during my birthday.
It's interesting how foods/culture really affect us.... I am so tied to it and trying to remember all the wonderful things my mom made over the years is really important to me. I'm lucky that she showed me a lot of things as I was growing up but there's still some gaps here and there. It really makes me feel good to make something that my mom showed me how to make but it'll really make me feel better once I figure out all the cool, unusual Japanese dishes she made me.
Tonight, it's going to be ramen and then chestnuts for dessert. Ramen (not the cheap stuff) is easy to make, yes but it is the doctoring that makes it good. My mom was amazing at making it taste awesome. Chestnuts aren't a mystery but it's definitely a foodstuff that I associate to New Years and being in Japan.
Helps me feel closer to her....even though I miss her so deeply right now.
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