Luck Be A Lady

So in my quest to finally get healthy and lose all the excess fat on my personage I realized a couple of things. When I jump on a band wagon I go whole hog. I am obsessive so I can become obnoxious. I realized that people need to find their way to their rock bottom on their own. I can't keep telling them how great I'm feeling or that I've lost almost 15 lbs and it's because I started this amazing program.  I also discovered some people are jealous. Some of these people aren't necessarily sabotaging me but they are very loud with their silence.  Others are critical of the program for one reason or another. I'm not worried that it will slow me down. I am a freaking freight train when it comes to something I believe in. No one can stop me from succeeding except myself. I do have a firm belief in God so I know I have faith on my side to help me believe in myself. It is interesting to see the resistance now that I'm on 'that' side. I was one of thos...

So while I am on a very restricted diet (low carb, no dairy, NO sugar) I have become hyper aware of how strong certain foods and chemicals affect us. I am amazed first and foremost at how I am not craving sugar or diet soda. I was never one of those people who could have 'just one' cookie or 'just a bite' of that dessert. God help me, if brownies were made I was eating a third of the pan in one sitting!  It's not the chocolate we're craving here, it's the sugar. Our pancreas (well, more specifically MY pancreas) has been working overtime for years. I was pre-diabetic (what a stupid term) for a while but I did nothing to curb my sugar consumption. How could I? Sugar is an addictive substance. Hey drug dealers, don't use heroin, coke or meth to get people under your control. Use sugar instead! It's just as addictive AND it causes people to get fat, sick and die! Yeah, I know.... a little too much.  I'm not saying I don't love sugar because ...

Yeah, it's pre-season for football but I really do love baseball and it's getting to the dog days of summer and the World Series so whatev...... ;-) But my reference is one about my personal feelings. I've always been really hard on myself. I have always felt that the 'prize' was always just within reach but my short arms are constantly just a little too short. I've had LOTS of great things in my life, don't get me wrong but you know how it is to "covet thy neighbors' goods." right? I hit a milestone birthday and it feels like this has been my year to dig deep and learn who I really am and what makes me tick. I have made mental pros/cons lists about me and I knew it would be time to start figuring out how to be a happier and healthier me so the 'rest' of my life would be one of quality and not of chaos (which tends to follow me - and only because I let it!). I finally had my own 'come to Jesus' meeting with myself about my...

I decided to start writing a separate blog about my diet journey with Ideal Protein. Still using Blogger but it'll just be a different page. This way I can use my normal blog for all subjects and people can choose whether or not to read about diet struggles. I am really proud of myself. It's not been super difficult to do this diet thank goodness. I haven't cheated in 12 days and I'm still going strong. I will openly admit that the last couple of days I've felt hungrier so I've tried to drink more water when that happens. Sometimes, the hunger goes away. Sometimes, it doesn't but on those bad days I usually start a project and my hunger usually quiets down for at least an hour. Yesterday, I chose to actually move on to the next meal or snack to get my stomach to just stop bothering me. I am having a hunger moment as I type, mainly because I was working in the yard and I expended a lot of energy. I really should eat dinner right now but I can't. Oh we...

I felt a real urge to write even though I only have minutes before I have to dash out to the dentist (YUCK x 10) for a teeth cleaning which in my case requires novacaine and serious 'planing' from the dental hygenist. I can't remember, but I might be getting a cavity filled today as well.  Gross! Oh well... if I have had one health problem haunting me my entire life, it is my teeth. I guess that's better than lots of other things!  At least we're working towards complete preventative maintenance. It'll get there at some point! Brief update about the diet: I'm holding strong and finding out all kinds of things about myself. I am up to a 9.2 lbs loss according to my digital scale but won't consider it official until I weigh in this coming Saturday at the office. Still, if it is correct I'm happy!  A loss this early is mostly water but it's water I was holding onto. I know it would probably have shown more but I had to take my last meal (technical...

Just making myself very accountable here.... I tend to get very gung ho when I start a project, i.e., hobby, class, diet, workout, show, etc. I have lots of plans and hopes at the beginning of these ventures which I'm totally happy about since it shows I am more of an optimist than I give myself credit for. I just get concerned because I always say "I'm going to do 'this" and then my inherent nature is to give up, get distracted, take on too much so I'm too tired, etc., etc.  You know the drill, right?  I do take on too much stuff. Even now, I am a walking billboard for taking on too much. My mind needs to be on so many projects - why can't I say NO to some of them?  Ugh...... Anyway, I'm really planning to stick this new lifestyle & diet out for the rest of my life. I cannot believe how my cravings for sugar are gone. Granted, the pre-packaged items that come on the diet include sweets (including the yummy chocolate caramel nut bar I had this ...

So I made a serious decision about my health since I've got jaw surgery coming up within the next 2-6 months (depends on my orthodontist's okay). Mark and I tried Nutrisystem last summer and we both managed to lose about 10-16 lbs (my max was 13 at one point). The food really stinks by the way. I don't care what anyone says.  After 3 months, we both hit the wall. We joined the Y in hopes of exercising and getting some more poundage off. I checked into Ideal Protein while we were deciding whether or not to proceed with Nutrisystem and while I felt the medical science part of it was sound it just seemed to pricey for us.  Well, fast forward a year: we dropped the Y because we just weren't using it and it was a huge financial drain when Mark wasn't working and while I managed to cook at home to save big bucks (which I did!) it really affected our weight. I gained everything I had lost plus 4 more pounds! I'm telling you, being this overweight just p...

1. Today will be my best day. 2. I am the best me there is. 3. I know that I'm a winner. 4. I can do it, I know I can. 5. God is always with me.

My first weekend without having to worry about reviewing lines or performing "Master Class"! Wow! Of course, I'm just about ready to take off to be house manager at another theatre though.... gotta love live theatre! Well, I had my latest check up at the orthodontist.  Believe it or not, it's now been 18 months since I got my braces and all my teeth have finally moved so there are NO gaps!  My dentist is going to be shocked when I go in for my checkup next week!  Both he and my orthodontist were sure I'd have to have bridges and/or implants done to fill the gaps! I'm so impressed! Medical science is amazing. Speaking of which... I've been avoiding going into the dentist's office for my cleaning this past year and I know I'm going to be paying for it now. My wonderful orthodontist assistant Crystal, pointed out a pretty puffy and swollen area of gum line and was concerned I might have an infection. Ugh.... oh well, at least I didn't delay on...

What an insane week...... Sunday was my last performance as Maria Callas in "Master Class". I still can't believe I did it. 12 performances with the biggest line load I've ever seen (barring one woman shows) and I really did it. I actually regretted coming to the end of the run. I felt like I could do it a little better if I had 2 more weeks! Oh well.... I'm happy with how it all turned out so I guess "that's that". (Maria's last lines as the play ends) Monday morning Mark gets a cryptic email and phone message from his former employer. He had been dropped a hint by his best friend who still works there (for one more week) that this might happen.  Sure enough, he gets a contract offer to come back for 6 months. Contracts mean no benefits but it's a full time job and he already knows how to do it. So we went from finishing a show, sort of happy but sort of depressed that things were done but nothing had changed (i.e., our not being emplo...

I always get a stab of pain when I reach this holiday. It's probably the toughest of the Hallmark holidays for me. Thanksgiving & Christmas have a little more religious meaning for me so the loneliness of not having my parents around hits but I also focus on what is here and now and try to be grateful for my amazing husband, our little family of pups, our relatives near and far as well as the family we've come to to have in our closest friends. Yes, the loss of my mom was probably more traumatic because of the suddenness and the fact that she was all I had left in my immediate family. I still cry on her birthday and on the anniversary of her death. But the pain is different with my dad. He was my protector in every sense. He was the man who told me to 'go for it'. This man never got to have that son he wanted so desperately so I became all that even though I wasn't a sports fanatic. I went fishing with him, we went to boat shows, we went to football, basketbal...

"Be strong & courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9 I just finished the second weekend of "Master Class", my current show at the Jewel Box Theatre. I have never done a show like this before. I have never had a line load this huge or intense. I have never experienced a show where I am not only onstage the entire time but always talking. Yes, I've done shows where the team of actors were always onstage but this time if someone is talking, it's me. My fellow actors can't help me. I have a lot of monologues, lectures and speeches. I talk to the audience constantly.  I never, ever thought I could do it. Seriously. I had nightmares about this show that were so bad I actually wanted to get deathly ill so that I wouldn't have to go on. I literally got no more than 2 hours a night the last 10 days of rehearsal because I was practically paralyzed with fear. I truly though...

Poor Mark. It's been 3.5 months since he was laid off from work. He has applied for jobs to no avail. And of course, the one he thought he was truly right for, he didn't even get notification of any kind. The jobs were filled and that's that. Ugh.... his heart just got crushed with that one. Especially since he knows someone on the inside and they had met and discussed his strengths and qualifications and they felt he would get the interview. I'm sitting here praying that he can find something soon. It's hard to watch him go into this horrible funk. He wants to provide for his family and is feeling like a failure. I can't really tell him otherwise and I understand. He can't seem to find anything on this side of the water that pays enough or he is overqualified so he gets passed up. I know that there is something out there..... I just wish he didn't have to worry and go into this spiral of depression. He has the strongest faith of anyone I know..... b...

Birdie is my beautiful Sheltie. She is a retired show dog with many championships to her name. She had just turned seven the day we picked her up from the breeder. It's been only a little over 10 months since we got her but she immediately became part of our family. If truth be told, we were actually concerned about how she would get along with our two Maltese dogs. Well, actually one Maltese in particular. :-) Turns out, everything was fine between the three dogs. Birdie was my Sentry. She always guarded the house like a good dog would. It seems that some fairytales aren't meant to last. Our beautiful girl is dying. She was diagnosed two weeks ago with failing kidneys. Our wonderful vet gave us the bad news – we had days left, not years. It looks like we'll be saying goodbye to her tomorrow or by Friday at the latest. We can't bear to see her suffer any longer. It's the right thing to do. As much as it hurts us to let her go we can't let her suffer just...

Warning..... this one may go off on some tangents. My mind is trying to grasp at a couple of life lessons and it keeps jumping around like a jack rabbit in heat! (I don't really know what a jack rabbit in heat acts like....LOL) It's the last day of 'Bark the Musical' at the Jewel Box Theatre. Five weeks (which seems long and in the great scheme of things really isn't) later, I'm happy and sad. Happy that I got to do a show that is about the pure joy of being a dog and owning a dog, sad that it's coming to an end but happy that it is coming to an end so I can move on to my next show. Maria Callas awaits and I need to wrap my head around 50 pages of monologues in less than 5 weeks. It will be a challenge! Birdie (our Sheltie) is not getting better and her picky-ness with food is driving me insane. She needs to eat carbs and it goes against her dog nature to avoid meat. She's lost about 5 lbs and I'm so afraid she's losing even more. Poor girl.....

I am heartbroken... I am crying quietly, yet uncontrollably. My lovely dog, Birdie was diagnosed with kidney failure today and there is nothing we can do for her. We have had her less than a year. She had just retired from being a show dog and had given birth one time to a beautiful little boy named Bogey.  We were to take her and give her a forever home with no pressures other than to live the life of retirement and bliss. My tears won't stop. I feel ripped off. She's almost 8 years old and should be able to have another 4-6 years. But now, we're forced into deciding when she'll take her last breath unless her poor shriveled kidneys decide to fail on her first. She looks a little tired... a little less sparkle than she used to have a few months ago. But she still looks and acts like a healthy dog. She hides her constant pain and discomfort like the best actress in the world. She nudges me for love, she barks at the vacuum and the hair dryer, and she wants to p...

So...... I'm sitting here after reading a very long email from someone who is upset and angry with an organization. They chose to cut their ties and then another person chose to follow suit and do the same thing. I have to admit that I understand why they are upset. Without getting into great detail as I'm not at liberty to discuss it, there were some actions taken against some people that were perceived as mean and just plain wrong. I was not a part of the originating decision but I am very much affected by it. Of course, there are two sides to the story. Anger is blinding however, and it is extremely difficult for some to see things for how they truly are.  Even I was angry at first but I had made a commitment to follow through on something. I chose to stay and try to work through things and if I couldn't resolve it, then I would walk away once my time was done. Well.....fast forward to 9 months later and I'm seeing a much clearer picture. I have resolved some...

I'm in the midst of prepping for a show called "Bark" at the Jewel Box. It's really cute.... and yes all the actors are playing dogs. We aren't wearing costumes that would make it obvious but our songs are definitely about being dogs. I am still amazed at how actors learn lines and lyrics. I struggle so much to memorize prior to opening a show. Monologues, I tend to get quickly and songs are pretty easy to learn but the regular lines....the back and forth are tough for me. Lucky for me, I don't have that much dialogue in this show. A few spots here and there there's some lines, one monologue and 2 big songs so it's not crazy bad. The group numbers are huge though.... so I'm trying to do them repeatedly while I have time to be at home. Found my costume (I'm supposed to be a motherly type so I was given direction to look like June Cleaver). I am looking forward to seeing how it works in the show! It's a super cute outfit and one that shou...

Oh, I'm showing my age with Styx song titles! Seriously, I cannot get over how easy it is to do nothing when you aren't working. Of course, there's stuff to be done but it's easy to just get by with the bare minimum! I tried to take on a piano gig - unfortunately, my right arm decided it wasn't capable of withstanding the pressure of doing a week of run throughs and shows. Sad to lose out on the money but it's cheaper than surgery! I got hired as a substitute para educator for BSD and got in a day of work this week. Of course, the first check won't even matter because I had to pay for fingerprinting with it. Still, I am hoping this leads to me getting the job I really want. They still haven't let me know if I'm even being interviewed. It's agony waiting, especially since I got a chance to work in the office and I now know everyone there. I even ran into an old HS friend that works in the superintendent's office so it would be such an ea...

I hope to start getting more into the foodie & now DIY blog stuff again shortly. I'm a little more focused on life events right now since we're dealing with a few things. Hoping that I'll have some good news to herald on the new job horizon shortly..... In the meantime, I have heard from two theatres so I know I'll be directing a musical and a play next season and that makes me very happy. We're not talking big pay but it's something I love doing. Can't wait to start working on designs and such..... I can't wait to say the names of the shows. REALLY psyched! I have been doing a lot of soul searching and praying lately, especially with the difficulties we've been facing lately. I have strong faith though, and I know Mark and I are being guided and watched over. We also have terrific friends trying to steer us toward new careers and make sure we're doing okay. For all that, I am so VERY grateful. I can only hope I can be such a good friend ...