Luck Be A Lady

Well, it's been a bizarre week for me in terms of my diet. I have been daring to almost break the rules in terms of eating but not quite. I haven't wanted a salad all week so I have had to have spinach in my shakes (which I actually LOVE) plus roasting veggies for dinner (which I also LOVE). Salad has been my mainstay though. I am at the point where if there's something interesting on it like meats, eggs, other tasty veggies I am able to eat it without dressing. Don't ask me how... it just tastes great!  But this week, I couldn't even bear the idea of a single piece of lettuce. So that was the start of the week.... Then I started wanting another grande size mug of coffee. Which meant having more of that yummy coconut creamer that I am allowed to use for one mug. I have been pushing the limits on my fats, let's just say.  And the one thing about drinking caffeine is that you have to replace that cup with another cup of water. I've been able to do that until...

I always promise I won't duplicate blog postings (I have one specifically for my IP diet journey) and while it's not a duplicate, it will show something I'm really proud of today. I had a physical which means I also had to do lab work to check my glucose and check cholesterol and stuff. I was still reading high on my blood pressure unfortunately and I had to do a home check for 10 days for my doctor. It's still high on the diastolic number (the lower BP number) so I have a hunch I'm not getting of meds anytime soon. While that's a bummer, at least she's aware that my meds probably need a tweak and that's okay. Still awaiting my glucose numbers (diabetes - which I came in as full blown positive last summer) to see if I've brought that down which I know I have since IP works on the pancreas and insulin production through the cutting back of carbs (sugar). In the meantime, my cholesterol numbers arrived 24 hours after my visit to the lab. I had forg...

The drought is officially over! I am finally employed....albeit, it's a very, very part time job and the job relies on me to push my services but it's doing what I LOVE. I'm officially on the adjunct faculty for West Sound Academy! I'm going to teach music (choir) and also teach private lessons there. Seriously..... this is what I've been dreaming of but never thought I could get after such a long wait. I know that it'll start out small but I'm doing what I love which is teaching music on a smaller scale. I was never meant to be in the public school system and a long time ago I realized that teaching music 5 days a week in a school setting wasn't my thing. I knew I had to be involved with music and with kids but it was hard to figure out how to get this to happen without being poor, LOL. Well, my dear friend Gretchen (we go all the way back to high school) convinced me almost 20 years ago to start teaching privately. Her daughter Siri was my first ...

I have to take pictures next time... all the evidence of the food is GONE. It was that good. Since I'm on a strict low carb/no sugar diet, it's been hard for me to give up certain things. Rice and pasta have probably been the worst. I want sushi in the worst way but it will still be there when I finish the first phase of my diet! It will be one of several rewards I have when I hit my goal! Anyway, the last few days I've been bombarded by Famous Dave's ads, commercials for BBQ sauce, etc., etc. I LOVE going to Famous Dave's for their chicken wings platter. Their Sweet & Sassy bbq sauce is absolute heaven for me. Well, right now that stuff is like poison which has made me really sad. It's funny to think that I would want something so much.... but then I think about it and realize it's the SUGAR ADDICT in me saying to take it. Yeah, the tang of the vinegar, the yummy tomato and spices are all terrific but it's the SUGAR I want. I really want to yell...

Such a destructive power, that little Miss Jealousy. I have been slammed by it all weekend. Not me being jealous of others but others being jealous of me. I'm kind of at a loss. I've been feeling a lot of loss.... and not just in my personal body weight and body fat either. It seems like people are falling by the wayside.  I am not asking people to leave and they're not making any great efforts to walk away from me but they certainly are saying or doing destructive things toward me. I really don't know what to do. Well, in once circumstance (my MIL), I have to accept that she will never change. This is the same behavior she's shown to everyone in her family all of her life, I guess. She has no friends (well, not MY definition of friend) and most of her family basically tolerates her. My husband, one of the kindest people in this world still loves and adores her and tries so hard to break through her wall. He makes headway and then with a snap that wall is magi...

I had a moment today. Well, I had a huge moment yesterday to begin with.  My MIL is staying with us  for  the summer months and we hadn't had a fight yet. Well...that changed last night. What it was about is unimportant. What it did to me, or should I say what I let it do to me was.  I was so angry at her that I told her to stop being rude to me, and that her timing of her behavior sucked. I had an opening night for a show and my mind needed to be in a good place. I also needed to eat my dinner before the show and then bring plenty of water as well as my protein shake to sustain me throughout. Well....none of the good stuff happened. I brought my salad with me but ended up having 3 or 4 bites. Did I remember the protein shake? Hell no. I was lucky to remember to bring water and to not tell her to fuck off before slamming the front door. Yeah.... not my proudest moment. I slammed my front door in anger.  What I really WANTED to do what to actually punch my fi...

Those that know me 'really' well know that I'm Catholic. I guess it doesn't matter if someone does or doesn't know that. I just hope they know I'm a believer in God - at least through my actions and deeds. I have been praying a lot lately. Well, for years actually. About much of the same thing too. I knew I had been battling a raging depression for quite some time and I thought I was praying about it. I realize I was not truly praying for what I want. Don't get me wrong, what I was asking for was a real thing. It just dawned on me after I got a perfect email from my darling husband early this morning I was praying for the wrong thing.  I have been asking for something very specific - an actual tangible item that can be held in my hand. That's really not how I'm supposed to pray. Now I've never claimed to be a good Catholic. In fact, I'm probably a mediocre one at best. I have tried other faiths but none have ever provided me with the comf...

Well, I spent a good part of my early afternoon, reorganizing my side of the closet (Mark's side is tomorrow!).  I went through almost every item and tried them on and made a decision whether to keep or give away. I must have done well because I pulled at least 20 hangers out of there. I'm actually wearing pants that I haven't worn in 3+ years! This is an awesome feeling! Closet shopping is a pretty cool thing. I will have to do it again, probably in about 2 weeks to see if the pants that I felt were too tight are okay or are they just the wrong cut for me no matter how much weight I lose? It should be fun. I know I'll have a heck of a lot more room in that closet as soon as I can shift down another size! Speaking of which, when that happens I will officially have to go out an buy a new wardrobe! All I have left are the size I'm wearing in my closet with the exception of 2 pairs of jeans I purchased from Old Navy just so I would have pants as I lose this weight, L...

This is gross, yet fascinating. Lots of women have a disgusting and gross fascination with the body and its excretions. Seriously.  I'm one of those weirdos that gets joy out of popping zits and squeezing blackheads....yup, I'm sick and twisted but I love it. IF this is TMI for you I won't be offended....just so you know I'm talking about ear wax. If that's still too gross for you, don't read. Otherwise, the next few paragraphs are all about my ears and wax. So I had my yearly physical yesterday and everything except my blood pressure (which I expected to be high) and my diabetes numbers were normal. Since I haven't had a glucose test in a year, my doc wanted to do another blood test so I'll be doing that tomorrow and hoping that my new weight loss and very clean diet (no sugar!) has all but eliminated my high glucose numbers. I'm actually banking on it. So, the only other comment (besides, "oh we need to schedule a colonoscopy!") w...

WARNING: there are a few rough swear words in this so if you're offended, don't read. I know I'm trying to keep my diet blog separate from this one but because this is more commentary as opposed to posting facts and figures about my diet for the week, I think it's okay that I blather on about a few things related to this journey I've started. So at my last weigh in (yesterday), I ended up losing 5 lbs and 3.5 inches but I went up about 2 percent in my body fat. Well..... that's an interesting thing, isn't it? The one steady thing that had been happening on my diet was that my body fat was ticking in a downward trend these past 4 weeks. Yesterday, it jumped 2 percent overnight.  That, my dear friends is the results of hormones. I want to scream sometimes when someone mentions that damned word. It's what makes us who we are of course but why in the hell does it have to screw with our body fat readings on a $5000 scale? So yeah, I have an amazing and ...

So in my quest to finally get healthy and lose all the excess fat on my personage I realized a couple of things. When I jump on a band wagon I go whole hog. I am obsessive so I can become obnoxious. I realized that people need to find their way to their rock bottom on their own. I can't keep telling them how great I'm feeling or that I've lost almost 15 lbs and it's because I started this amazing program.  I also discovered some people are jealous. Some of these people aren't necessarily sabotaging me but they are very loud with their silence.  Others are critical of the program for one reason or another. I'm not worried that it will slow me down. I am a freaking freight train when it comes to something I believe in. No one can stop me from succeeding except myself. I do have a firm belief in God so I know I have faith on my side to help me believe in myself. It is interesting to see the resistance now that I'm on 'that' side. I was one of thos...

So while I am on a very restricted diet (low carb, no dairy, NO sugar) I have become hyper aware of how strong certain foods and chemicals affect us. I am amazed first and foremost at how I am not craving sugar or diet soda. I was never one of those people who could have 'just one' cookie or 'just a bite' of that dessert. God help me, if brownies were made I was eating a third of the pan in one sitting!  It's not the chocolate we're craving here, it's the sugar. Our pancreas (well, more specifically MY pancreas) has been working overtime for years. I was pre-diabetic (what a stupid term) for a while but I did nothing to curb my sugar consumption. How could I? Sugar is an addictive substance. Hey drug dealers, don't use heroin, coke or meth to get people under your control. Use sugar instead! It's just as addictive AND it causes people to get fat, sick and die! Yeah, I know.... a little too much.  I'm not saying I don't love sugar because ...

Yeah, it's pre-season for football but I really do love baseball and it's getting to the dog days of summer and the World Series so whatev...... ;-) But my reference is one about my personal feelings. I've always been really hard on myself. I have always felt that the 'prize' was always just within reach but my short arms are constantly just a little too short. I've had LOTS of great things in my life, don't get me wrong but you know how it is to "covet thy neighbors' goods." right? I hit a milestone birthday and it feels like this has been my year to dig deep and learn who I really am and what makes me tick. I have made mental pros/cons lists about me and I knew it would be time to start figuring out how to be a happier and healthier me so the 'rest' of my life would be one of quality and not of chaos (which tends to follow me - and only because I let it!). I finally had my own 'come to Jesus' meeting with myself about my...

I decided to start writing a separate blog about my diet journey with Ideal Protein. Still using Blogger but it'll just be a different page. This way I can use my normal blog for all subjects and people can choose whether or not to read about diet struggles. I am really proud of myself. It's not been super difficult to do this diet thank goodness. I haven't cheated in 12 days and I'm still going strong. I will openly admit that the last couple of days I've felt hungrier so I've tried to drink more water when that happens. Sometimes, the hunger goes away. Sometimes, it doesn't but on those bad days I usually start a project and my hunger usually quiets down for at least an hour. Yesterday, I chose to actually move on to the next meal or snack to get my stomach to just stop bothering me. I am having a hunger moment as I type, mainly because I was working in the yard and I expended a lot of energy. I really should eat dinner right now but I can't. Oh we...

I felt a real urge to write even though I only have minutes before I have to dash out to the dentist (YUCK x 10) for a teeth cleaning which in my case requires novacaine and serious 'planing' from the dental hygenist. I can't remember, but I might be getting a cavity filled today as well.  Gross! Oh well... if I have had one health problem haunting me my entire life, it is my teeth. I guess that's better than lots of other things!  At least we're working towards complete preventative maintenance. It'll get there at some point! Brief update about the diet: I'm holding strong and finding out all kinds of things about myself. I am up to a 9.2 lbs loss according to my digital scale but won't consider it official until I weigh in this coming Saturday at the office. Still, if it is correct I'm happy!  A loss this early is mostly water but it's water I was holding onto. I know it would probably have shown more but I had to take my last meal (technical...

Just making myself very accountable here.... I tend to get very gung ho when I start a project, i.e., hobby, class, diet, workout, show, etc. I have lots of plans and hopes at the beginning of these ventures which I'm totally happy about since it shows I am more of an optimist than I give myself credit for. I just get concerned because I always say "I'm going to do 'this" and then my inherent nature is to give up, get distracted, take on too much so I'm too tired, etc., etc.  You know the drill, right?  I do take on too much stuff. Even now, I am a walking billboard for taking on too much. My mind needs to be on so many projects - why can't I say NO to some of them?  Ugh...... Anyway, I'm really planning to stick this new lifestyle & diet out for the rest of my life. I cannot believe how my cravings for sugar are gone. Granted, the pre-packaged items that come on the diet include sweets (including the yummy chocolate caramel nut bar I had this ...

So I made a serious decision about my health since I've got jaw surgery coming up within the next 2-6 months (depends on my orthodontist's okay). Mark and I tried Nutrisystem last summer and we both managed to lose about 10-16 lbs (my max was 13 at one point). The food really stinks by the way. I don't care what anyone says.  After 3 months, we both hit the wall. We joined the Y in hopes of exercising and getting some more poundage off. I checked into Ideal Protein while we were deciding whether or not to proceed with Nutrisystem and while I felt the medical science part of it was sound it just seemed to pricey for us.  Well, fast forward a year: we dropped the Y because we just weren't using it and it was a huge financial drain when Mark wasn't working and while I managed to cook at home to save big bucks (which I did!) it really affected our weight. I gained everything I had lost plus 4 more pounds! I'm telling you, being this overweight just p...

1. Today will be my best day. 2. I am the best me there is. 3. I know that I'm a winner. 4. I can do it, I know I can. 5. God is always with me.

My first weekend without having to worry about reviewing lines or performing "Master Class"! Wow! Of course, I'm just about ready to take off to be house manager at another theatre though.... gotta love live theatre! Well, I had my latest check up at the orthodontist.  Believe it or not, it's now been 18 months since I got my braces and all my teeth have finally moved so there are NO gaps!  My dentist is going to be shocked when I go in for my checkup next week!  Both he and my orthodontist were sure I'd have to have bridges and/or implants done to fill the gaps! I'm so impressed! Medical science is amazing. Speaking of which... I've been avoiding going into the dentist's office for my cleaning this past year and I know I'm going to be paying for it now. My wonderful orthodontist assistant Crystal, pointed out a pretty puffy and swollen area of gum line and was concerned I might have an infection. Ugh.... oh well, at least I didn't delay on...

What an insane week...... Sunday was my last performance as Maria Callas in "Master Class". I still can't believe I did it. 12 performances with the biggest line load I've ever seen (barring one woman shows) and I really did it. I actually regretted coming to the end of the run. I felt like I could do it a little better if I had 2 more weeks! Oh well.... I'm happy with how it all turned out so I guess "that's that". (Maria's last lines as the play ends) Monday morning Mark gets a cryptic email and phone message from his former employer. He had been dropped a hint by his best friend who still works there (for one more week) that this might happen.  Sure enough, he gets a contract offer to come back for 6 months. Contracts mean no benefits but it's a full time job and he already knows how to do it. So we went from finishing a show, sort of happy but sort of depressed that things were done but nothing had changed (i.e., our not being emplo...