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my overloaded brain - the unedited version

So I have way too much on my already filled plate. I think that's true of a lot of people I know. I think I like to be too busy than not at all though. I am not complaining as much as I think I'm just trying to apologize in advance if I seem preoccupied, distant or deaf if you come within my proximity. ;-) I'm really excited about my show....whoops: showS. The one act is shaping up nicely and I just need to clean up and add some staging here and there. The cast is amazing....I'm really proud of them. I really think we have a shot at winning this competition (state level). This isn't my ego talking...we've got a great show and a great group of people doing it. I am really lucky that way. 'Mattress' is going to be a kick in the pants. I love this cast... they're so talented and so much fun already. My staff and crew are phenoms and I couldn't ask for better. I have had a terrific time at BCT thus far and it has far exceeded my expectations. I can ...

not always so depressing

I always think this blog is so incredibly depressing. I think I just look at it as the spot where I can really let loose and say exactly what is on my mind. So, there are times that I do feel a bit more negative and want to just get it off my chest. I think this is also my alternate reality of sorts. I don't put exactly what I feel on FB or Myspace all the time. Here I feel a little more free. So I can talk about people and call them exactly what they are! Ha! I can also swear like a sailor if need be. I can be completely and utterly truthful. How free that feels. Right now, there is a dusting of snow on the ground and Buddy is curled up in my lap asleep. It is quiet and peaceful. I wish it could be like this for me all day.  Ahh..... I will revel in this as long as I can (a couple of minutes, at least) and try to remember this feeling of utter bliss. 

my small life

I think of Horton the Elephant in "Seussical" saying, "a person's a person no matter how small." Sometimes I feel like I am too small, even for Horton to notice me. I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party here. I have just been contemplating my life and wondering what is its true purpose? I certainly don't think my career is driving me toward some kind of nirvana. It's something that helps pays my bills (even if it isn't enough) and gives me some benefits. I am trying to figure out a way to get out of this rut and do something more meaningful. I am actually surprised to be sitting here at my age thinking these thoughts. I'm kind of wondering what do I have to show for it all?  Do I lead a small life? Do I live in a little microcosm like Who-ville?  Hmmmm, I don't know whether to philosophize or feel sad. 

Dishing it out but not taking it

So I am one of those few directors who likes to thank everyone for auditioning whether the actor gets cast or not. My SM crafted a thank you email to everyone that we didn't cast and thought it was very 'nice' considering it was a rejection letter. Of course, I could've not done anything but I think that's rude. Some people make think it's rubbing salt in the wound. I don't think so. I have learned one important thing doing theatre, especially community theatre. That thing is to thank everyone for being there. And I think it's considerate to say thank you for your time and talents but we chose to cast a different actor rather than saying thanks but no thanks. Anyway, one actor wrote my SM back this brief but concise response: "Don't call us. We'll call you." I'm like.... WTF? Sore loser? You'd think someone who was 40+ years old could learn to say cie la vie or que sera sera? Ugh.... what arrogance. Just take the high road next ...

auditions - the agony and the good stuff

Yikes.... Doing auditions for shows (musicals in particular) are getting to be more difficult. Harder to find enough bodies to be on the stage, especially men. I'm glad I got enough people in general for the show but I'm still about 2 guys shy of a full cast load. I wish more guys enjoyed singing and dancing and making general fools of themselves! You do realize that chicks dig this behavior, right?

On a lighter note

I still can't believe that someone is trying to turn the video of "Thriller" into a full blown Broadway musical. Now don't get me wrong... I LOVED "Thriller". But a full on show??? Hmmmm..... I could be wrong I suppose. The funny part about it is that as soon as it hit the airwaves John Landis (writer/director of the video/movie) gets up and tells the world that MJ owes him huge back royalties for the video and there's no way in hell MJ can market this without #1 getting him what owed to him, and #2 giving him mucho rights and royalties for the Broadway show. What is it with MJ? He's got to either be the stupidest guy on the planet or the most nefarious for not following through on business deals.

Reality TV, take me away!

Oh gosh..... I am so hooked on 'The Bachelor' this season. Normally I am not so involved but when there's finally a 'nice' guy to watch (and he happens to be from Seattle) it totally sucks you in! I am so emotionally invested in some of the girls who are competing for his heart it's just plain silly! Oh well, at least I get to enjoy my Monday nights and it helps me to relax and enjoy some down time with Mark! Yup.... he sits and watches it too! ;-) So..... it's now down to 5 ladies vying for the heart of Jason Mesnick. And now, the ladies all go to Seattle to be shown around the community they'd be living in. Do they realize how much it rains here?????? Now that's a true test of true love! LOL! I've been reading the message boards on the ABC website and all these idiots think that the relationship won't last because the girls couldn't make it in Seattle's dreary weather. Oh for Pete's sake..... it's not that bad! I love how s...

And now for something completely different

Okay, so I had my depressing meltdown last night..... I have them occasionally. I think yesterday was just too long of a day filled with too much activity that I'm not getting paid for. Considering it was my ONE day off...oh well. Now I can look forward to a week of trivial television shows that entertain me to no end. Tonight's line up is 'The Bachelor' and I know how shallow and lame it is but it entertains me. That's the key right there! Of course it competes with my current all-time favorite show 'Cities of the Underworld' but at least that show is on Comcast's On Demand so I can catch up with it! Beyond that, I typically get my Ace of Cakes fix on Food Network, my trashy Girls Next Door on E!, and some fun forensic CSI kind of shows on Tru TV. What a life! Hey.... it helps me escape the boring stuff.... like WORK.

make my way back home when I learn to fly

I'm tired..... so I'm feeling somewhat emotional. I was looking at some pictures on someone's facebook account and it hit me in a deeply personal place. I really don't want to get into it but it makes me regret a lot of things I've done in my past. I can't take back my actions and I pay for them on a daily basis. It hurts.... I have prayed for some forgiveness in the past but I think I kind of put it into a dark corner of my mind and have tried to ignore it. Unfortunately, every now and then things come creeping back and remind me that they're still there and I'm still here with them. Right now, I just feel like crap, plain and simple. I won't mention any of this on myspace or facebook since everyone (including kids) reads my stuff over there. I'll just keep this dark and dreary stuff over here and put it out there on virtual paper and hope that writing this out makes me feel better. These are the times I wish my dad were still here. He was the o...

train wreck

So I'm totally hooked on 'The Bachelor' this season. I can't help myself. It's like watching the proverbial train wreck. I am totally into it and find myself amazed at people's behavior. I am trying to remember TV before reality TV and noticed how much people have changed. It's so obvious that people are out to 'make it' and get famous (or infamous). I cannot believe how foul-mouthed some of these ladies get. Yes, I know there's some embarrassing moments plus some real anger when a girl is rejected but to swear like a sailor on national TV and to say "I know I'm beautiful" and "He's just a bleeping bleep-hole" just amazes me. Whatever happened to dignity? I guess it's not on 'The Bachelor'! Oh well.... I'm still going to continue watching it..... hey, it's my train wreck and I'll watch if I want to.....

maximum support

I wish someone could have gotten it through my very thick head that good quality shoes are the best investment you can make in your life. Our feet take a major beating and they're the only ones we'll ever have. I am paying for my past 'fashion' choices and have to get pedicures to keep the calluses at bay. (Sorry if that's TMI but it's true.) So....those of you who are still young enough to be stupid... get good shoes and make sure they fit right. I know looks are important but the smart person will find the right shoe that still looks relatively cool.

The sister(s) I never had

I am an only child so I have had to be pretty strong in difficult situations. It's not that I don't have friends or family who help because I do. Mark has also been the veritable rock I have leaned on for the last 7 years. I think the worst time(s) of my life was when my dad was sick and eventually died. So today is my dad's birthday and I kind of have that melancholy vibe. Of course, I will be fine but I just miss the guy. It makes me think about the last five years and how fast time has flown. I am lucky to still have my very healthy mom, Mark as all as my very good friends. Some of them I consider to be my sisters. I don't have that many really close friends so I hope they know how special they are to me. I would like to mention a few of them here: Andrea - you are my other half. We think alike and do things at the same time! It scares me and yet it never surprises me! We will conquer the world together! I consider you the better half of me and love you de...

New year, new you

Ugh..... I blog so little these days and this poor blogger site has been ignored for 2 years because of it. I suppose I could just cut and paste the same thing on all the sites! Well, well.... since that is now the plan this lover-ly blog shall no longer be ignored! Many good things to come along this year I think. I am seriously considering quitting my current job (of course, this is just me thinking about it at this point) as I'm burning out hard and fast and want some new excitement in my life. I've been with them for almost 6 years and lots of changes have/are occurring so I'm thinking it might be the right time to search for something new. Of course, I do have some potential career opportunities within my volunteering. I'm hoping to switch careers so that I'm actually working in the non-profit arena and specifically in the arts. We're always told to do what we love and not be slaves to our jobs so I'm going to try to work that one out. If it doesn't...

Guilty as charged

Gosh....I am so guilty. I have completely and utterly ignored this poor blog for 4 months! I've looked at my favorites list many times and seen the poor little blogger sign in link and scoffed at it more times because I was 'too busy' to write anything down! I'm rather ashamed of myself. I should never be too busy to write a little sentence or two. It's gratifying to look back at one's year and see their accomplishments. So, I'm not making a resolution since they get broken more often than not (look at my track record of working out!) but I will attempt to stop by and visit a little whenever I can. Whether it's daily or weekly remains to be seen but I'll find a way to put down my thoughts!

cool new toys

Man....you gotta love technology. We just got in the Boss BR-900CD digital recording studio. It's probably all of 10 lbs and it has 64 track capabilities and then it BURNS a CD of your project for you! So you can use the built in mic or hook one in or plug your electric instrument right in and start jamming. The darned thing has a variety of drum machine beats, can turn your instrument into a bass (and you can pick what kind!), turn your mic into something classic (and super expensive), make your guitar use a variety of amps (about 50 different options) and so much more! My boss used it to record our last training meeting so he could listen to the CD of it later on. How cool is that? I cannot WAIT to play with this thing!

work it, girl!

I'm on day 17 of the workout (out of 42 days)! I'm almost half-way through this round!

workin' it out

Well, I once again am trying to get back on the exercise 'wagon.' I have a variety of exercise DVD's in my collection so there's no excuse other than I'm being a lazy bum! It's really a crime that I have this incredible library and I let it sit for such a long time! Oh well, I figure one gets into getting in shape when they either 'hit bottom' or are forced by some catastrophic event. I think I have been in major denial about my age (after all, it is just a number) and didn't realize how much weight I was beginning to retain without any changes in my lifestyle. So I have read up, watched the infomercials, tried the diets (I had some luck w/the Atkins plan a couple of winters ago) but realized it's old fashioned exercise and diet that works along with lowering one's stress levels and trying to be happy. Oh yes, and taking vitamins and supplements and drinking water too! Along the way I got into Winsor pilates (didn't work other than to h...

I am so psyched....

We get to go to the Gorge (in George) a week from Saturday to see James Taylor! I have never had the opportunity to see him live before (Mark has seen him 2 or 3 times the lucky dude!) so I am really excited! It's all I can do to get through the next 10 days!

Meeting an 'Idol'

And I don't mean 'American' Idol. There are moments in your life that you know you will never forget. Life can be so cool that way. I cannot believe that I had the chance to meet the founder of one of my all time favorite bands last month. I have been drivelling on and on about this because I am such a fan and I respect this guy so much! I'll try to post a picture of us (at my store) a little later. Whoops....I forgot to mention his name! This is me being so darned giddy about meeting him. So who did I get to meet? Walt Parazaider, the founder of the rock band Chicago came to my store to try out some saxophones. Remember the flute solo in 'Colour My World'? That's Walt!!!! He (and his wife Jacklyn) are two of the loveliest people I have ever met. I feel very lucky to have met them!

Lady Luck where were you?

Well, our trip to Las Vegas was fun. Went by WAY too fast for my tastes, and Mark's too. It's funny how a short little weekend trip can be so recharging even if you don't sleep much. Who sleeps in Las Vegas? Friday afternoon Mark and I take off for the airport....very excited. We get there with no delay.....but wait! The delays are to come. We went to Masterpark (for those of you who park and ride it's the bright yellow and black sign) and they're just the best. I need to use them everytime....valet parking, you can check in there at the kiosk (which I SHOULD have done), and a nice ride to the terminal. We got there and didn't see a very big line at the counter BUT it's set up so stupidly. The agents can't keep up w/the customers who check in so everyone waits in front of the kiosks so all of us in line can't do anything. Annoying set up...I'm going to write to Alaska about that. So we traipse on our merry way knowing that security checkpoints mi...